If bad things have happened to you, does that make you a bad person? I'm starting to think there needs to be a reason as to why I'm making all the wrong choices. Something in my past that has triggered some little switch inside me to turn off my good decision making skills.

My dad doesn't want me to go to Culinary School. Says there's no future there. No way to make any money. He measures his happiness by money. I guess if he thinks he can't provide for us, it takes away a little piece of his dignity. I don't care if he has a million dollars or if we were living in a trailer in Kansas. He's still my dad. I just wish he would be a little bit more understanding. I'd like to think I'm understanding.

You know when you're little, all the adults explain stuff like, "it just happens that way" or "you're too little to understand"? I see why they say it. 'Cause if you knew everything then that you know now, you'd be a lot more burdened.

I saw "The Secret Life of Bees" tonight and cried throughout practically the whole thing. I love that book so much, the movie was equally as good, in my opinion. Poor May; carrying the weight of everything on her shoulders. She feels everyones pain and couldn't take it.

I don't want to break my Dad's heart again. I feel as though he is constantly disappointed in the person I've become and there is no way to redeem myself.

When is it time to stop hiding? I just want to come clean.